not__human's Friends

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so let's see...since we last talked...

we went out again to shoot the gun and look at the stars with John...actually we've done this two times since I last wrote in here...one of which I just returned home from...both times we brought the .22 and I got to shoot it which was neat, I wouldn't mind having a .22 rifle or pistol of my own. it was great talking shit with those boys and Lee and I are both starting to realize that John is becoming one of our closest friends.

last Thursday I spent the day with EA, we watched Chicago, I made cheese sticks, tater tots, and a few chili dogs, we listened to some music and just hung out a while. I think I was probably too affectionate that day which I think was my downfall. It gave her the idea that I was way more into her than she was into me...which I guess I am...I really, really, REALLY liked that girl. Anyway, Friday she said she needed a break from me and we didn't talk for four days and then yesterday (Monday) she told me she realized she didn't really have feelings for me. I've thought about this for a while and I don't think I believe her. I think she's convinced herself that she's not ready because it's too soon after her relationship but that conventional knowledge isn't always right. I honestly believe that she's pushing me away because she doesn't think she "should" be doing this because of what we're conditioned to believe...and also because I let on that I might like her more than she likes me...but I think it's more that she's afraid to feel that way about anyone, especially so soon after. The point is, I think she's making a mistake and I hope she realizes soon that she's not doing the right thing because we had/have something special. Hopefully before it's too late...

Saturday night I went over to my dad's and he made us Perfect Fries and some chili...the chili was really good but those fries were incredible. We watched the Heisman Trophy Presentation (Suh was robbed...Tim Tebow received 43 first place votes somehow) and the premiere of "The U"--this film made me overwhelmingly happy and nostalgic for the glory days of the Canes (which are coming back soon) but also for the days when college football was so much more fun...I don't care what anyone says about class and dignity, end zone dances and taunting and silly theatrics are what make the college game great...it's all about passion and fucking FUN for god's sake. Two of the only things that have kept my anxiety-ridden brain away from the sadness and pain I've been feeling since Friday are "The U" and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Concert (which is so powerful, uplifting, and joyous an event, it never fails to lift my spirits)

Yesterday and today have been roxy nights...which I really needed. Especially last night, good god. By the time I got home at like 6am last night, still flying (like I am now), I was convinced that I was gonna be fine. Tonight especially I'm convinced that I'm gonna be totally fine because I have amazing friends who care about me and look out for me and have my best interests at heart. I couldn't possibly ask for more. Well...one other thing maybe...

Paul Simon singing Here Comes the Sun with David Crosby and Graham Nash is fucking beautiful...my favorite moments of the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Concert:

-Stevie Wonder feat. John Legend on Piano/Vocals - The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson Cover)
-Stevie Wonder feat. Sting on Bass/Vocals - Higher Ground
-Stevie Wonder feat. Jeff Beck on Guitar - Superstition
-Metallica - For Whom the Bell Tolls (We're Metallica...and this is what we do...)
-Metallica feat. Ozzy Osbourne - Iron Man/Paranoid
-U2 feat. Mick Jagger and Fergie - Gimme Shelter
-Paul Simon feat. David Crosby and Graham Nash - Here Comes the Sun (Beatles Cover)
-Little Anthony and the Imperials - Two People In the World
-Simon and Garfunkel's entire set (especially Bridge Over Troubled Water and Sound of Silence...ok there was only one other song...whatever...)
-Jeff Beck feat. Buddy Guy on Guitar/Vocals - Let Me Love You, Baby
-Jeff Beck feat. Billy Gibbons on Guitar/Vocals - Foxy Lady
-Jeff Beck - A Day In the Life (Instrumental Beatles Cover)
-Bruce Springsteen feat. Sam Moore - Hold On, I'm Coming/Soul Man
-Bruce Springsteen feat. Tom Morello on Guitar/Vocals - Ghost of Tom Joad (I wish they would have worked in some of RATM's version of that song though)
-Bruce Springsteen feat. John Fogerty - Fortunate Son
-Bruce Springsteen feat. John Fogerty - Oh, Pretty Woman (Roy Orbison Cover)
-Bruce Springsteen feat. Billy Joel - New York State of Mind
-Bruce Springsteen feat. Billy Joel - Born to Run

I'd love a CD of that...

I need to do a new music blog entry...I think my next one will be a rewritten, revamped version of "The Art of the Mix Tape" which is an article my good friend Matt Preira wrote back in the day that I wish I had kept a copy of because I loved it but I'm going to attempt my own version of it.

I really need to find a fucking job to pay for my fucking phone...It's probably gonna be like 60-70 bux a month if I want text messaging (maybe data...without either it's $40). I'm also gonna take Lee's advice and ask her if I get a job if we can get another dog...I'm so lonely right now and when I'm depressed is when I miss my Pepper the most...I'm so used to having her to snuggle and hug when I'm down and now when I'm down it hurts twice as much because it makes me miss her so much.

This really was a fucking lousy ass year. Obama has been largely a disappointment, my unemployment ran out, my car died, my dog died, two girls smashed my heart to pieces...several other girls just didn't work out and added to my shit ass luck with women, I fucking bottomed out in school and am going back to taking time off and maybe never going back, my XBox 360 broke, I think two computers of mine have died in the last year, I jumped in a pool with my iPhone, I fucked up my mom's car so that we had to have a rental for a couple weeks and her insurance went up...other than that, I guess it wasn't so bad. It was a good year for music, so much of which I have yet to listen to but the new Thrice, Baroness, and Converge are spectacular. Hopefully something will happen in the next 16 days to make it worth all that bullshit.

pee sout lj

Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Jeff Beck - A Day In the Life

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